Monthly Archives: October 2014

Going with the Flow

Perhaps you’ve heard the expression, “Just go with the flow,” and wanted deeper insight into how to really accomplish that.

With this blog post, I’ve just gone with the flow of channeling helpful information about that life strategy.

Too often we resist what is happening, what directions we are being led in. We want to control outcomes, control people, control situations. But what would happen if you just let go of some of that need, even for just an hour?

Simply with your intention, you can begin to accept that whatever is happening — wherever you are – serves some purpose in your personal development.

We all have the potential to find peace even in the midst of chaos (to literally find our “center”).

Trust that life is bringing you what you need right now. Trust that you have the ability to cope with anything that life brings your way.

Letting Go

As you can imagine, attempting to control too much can be the opposite of going with the flow.

Often our desire to control too much is born out of good intentions. We think we know what’s best for other people. As we express those thoughts, others may hear our vocal volume rise as we say things like, “You should do this! You’ve got to go that!”

We can sometimes see so clearly what it seems others should do – perhaps what they need to study in school, where they should apply for a job, or how they need to change their diet.

But when we speak in a controlling fashion, they can begin to tune us out. The message – the good intention – is lost because we tried not only to plant a helpful seed, we sounded like we were growing impatient with the blossoming of the flower.

You can share good ideas, but others have to decide that’s what they want as well.

Knowing When

Can you just go with our own flow and allow others to go with theirs? Perhaps that can be challenging when our lives are so intertwined that we get swept up into their current, or when key business interests are at stake.

Perhaps at certain times, you do need to speak up and get people on board with a ship that won’t capsize.

But check in with yourself first. Do you really know what’s best for others in that moment? Maybe there are life lessons they need to learn, people they’re destined to meet.

Instead of focusing so much on what others are doing, perhaps it’s time to spend more time paying attention to our own personal direction.

Flexible and Flowing

To move with the flow, flexibility is key. This flexiblity is important for not only our bodies, but also our minds.

How well are we adjusting to change? All we can really count on is change. How well we adapt to change has a huge bearing on our health and happiness.

Often resistance to change really is futile. At some point, there has to be acceptance of the situation on the ground, even though that reality may be different than the one in which we find our heads still stuck.

At times like those, the Serenity Prayer can be tremendously beneficial: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

Analysis Paralysis

Can you trust your inner wisdom without overanalyzing? Of course, analysis and personal reflection are very important. But there’s the phenomenon of “analysis paralysis,” where we overthink things to the point where we can’t make a decision, interrupting our flow.

Are you regularly trusting your intuition or gut feelings? Or do you resist it and later hit your head, thinking, “I knew I should have gone the other way”?

Perhaps you made a poor decision in judgment, following a path that proved more challenging. But you need to go with the flow of that as well until you find safer ground.

Of course, that idea begs the question: “Are we ever really safe?” We never know what could be around the next corner. Of course, we can exercise our good judgment. But even on the most serene garden lane, a huge tree could fall on us right out of the blue.

At all times, we have to trust that when the time comes, we will flow naturally onto the next plane of existence, understanding that we’ve all got to go sometime. It can be amazing to behold people who’ve managed to flow as gracefully as possible through the process of disease and dying.

Focus Is Key

There are so many directions to choose in this life. But choice is key. You can flow all over the place, but ultimately find yourself just moving in circles. Or you can pick a specific path and follow along it with dedication.

Many successful people have said that instead of spreading themselves too thin (attempting too many business opportunities at once, for example), they ultimately struck gold by focusing on one area. And choosing it over and over and pursuing it relentlessly.

You can be focused on one major goal and still go with the flow. Go with the flow of knowing that you will find the right people and make shifts in strategies as needed as you continue on your quest.

Energy Current

There is energy all around us and it flows within us as well. When it becomes blocked, sometimes we suffer as a result. Parts of our bodies may not get the nourishment they need, impacting us health-wise. We may become mentally blocked about following through on next steps.

Releasing the need for perfectionism in outcomes is an excellent means of going with the flow.

If you’re a creative type, can you just go with the flow of words you write, the notes you play, the imagery you paint without too much second-guessing? Can you just become a channel for inspiration?

We can trust that we’re creating something of value – or at least learning something of value in our growth process – and release the need for it to turn out exactly like we planned.

It may turn out even better than we could have imagined if we can release our expectations of precisely how an outcome is supposed to look, sound and feel.

Mindfulness

Your thoughts are flowing constantly (perhaps up to 50,000 a day), and you will flow along with those.

But if you find yourself stagnating in the same negative, unbeneficial thought pattern day after day, you can begin allowing your mind to flow to more helpful thoughts. Ones that make you feel good and motivate you to take actions that seem more and more natural as you trust yourself to follow your inner wisdom.

There is an ebb and flow to life, when periods of joy, excitement and momentum may be followed by melancholy and a need to flow down. Often during the ebbs, it’s good to reflect on what’s working or not in your life.

When the flow increases again, keep in mind that you don’t need to move a mile a minute. That’s often the road to burnout and the path of people who make decisions faster than they can consider the consequences.

At times when you feel like you’re pushing ahead too hard or resisting moving at all, you can sooth yourself with this wonderful Louise Hay affirmation: “I am flexible and flowing. I am open to the new and changing. Every moment presents a wonderful new opportunity to become more of who I am. I flow with life easily and effortlessly.”

Divine Guidance

Whenever I have questions about which directions I should take and how I should handle certain situations, I make it a regular practice to call on my Angels and Spirit Guides of Love, Light & Wisdom for insight.

I may take a pen to paper and write whatever comes through, or simply allow the words to flow into my head as I close my eyes in a peaceful state of meditation. By doing so, we can all open ourselves up to divide guidance.

Remember that wherever your flow of life should take you, you can always call upon your Higher Power for help.

Embrace Who You Are Now

Today is a time to remember who you really are: A beautiful child of God and the Universe. And now is the time to really embrace it!

You may have made mistakes along the way, and that is okay. Because now is also a time to forgive yourself for mistakes from your past.

There are many decision points in life. We may think back and ask what if we’d done something differently at a certain point. Would our whole lives be different?

Someone might ask: “What if I had packed up my car and left that dysfunctional relationship years ago in that moment when I had the gumption? Where would I be? Who would I be?”

Another might wonder: “What if I had pursued my dream instead of listening to the negative feedback from others, allowing it to hold me back?”

There are no answers to those questions. Because you are who you are right now and where you are now.

Start Where You Are

All you can do now is focus on the potential within you and recognize what tools are at your disposal to achieve your dreams (and open yourself to believing you can attract more).

It may seem challenging at first, letting go of the past and forgiving yourself for what you have perceived as mistakes.

But that letting go can become easier once you recognize that those mistakes contribute to the sum total of who you are now.

As motivational author Louise Hay says, “Healing means to make whole and accept all part of myself – not just the parts I like, but all of me.”

Life Plan

You wouldn’t be who you are in this moment without those experiences that you may potentially regret or feel resentment about. Those experiences may have been fundamental lessons you need to learn in this lifetime – a part of your life plan.

One spiritual principle concerning acceptance and detachment reads: “Whatever happened is the only thing that could have happened.”

Other principles of detachment are: “Each moment in which something begins is the ‘right’ moment….Whoever you encounter is the ‘right’ person….What is over is over. We tend to hold onto people and events that are in the past.”

Lessons Learned

When reminded of past difficulties, can you focus on the lesson learned instead of the pain? You can instead remind yourself that you are now a different person than when you were at a particular crossroads in the past.

In the practice of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, it’s believed that: “Everyone does the best they can with the resources available to them.”

That can be an enlightening way to look back over your life’s journey. Missteps along the way that might make you groan now may have been the best you could do at certain points in your past, given the level of awareness you had at the time and the tools at your disposal.

Sweet Forgiveness

That perspective can also help you move into a space of forgiveness of others. People may have hurt you or disrespected you at times. But given their personal limitations, perhaps that was about the best they could do.

Many of my clients who suffered emotional or physical abuse growing up recognize that their parents were raised in a similar fashion. In some way, were those parents’ intentions still good in some twisted way? Perhaps they felt like they were preparing their kids for the seeming unfairness of life or protecting them from sorrow by limiting their view of their potential.

Is that how they believed that children should be raised? It’s likely that was their level of awareness at the time.

That doesn’t excuse people who have harmed us. There is karma we will all face along our soul’s journey, after all.

Breaking the Cycle

But we all have the potential to break cycles of abuse. And the best place to start, in this moment, is to stop talking to ourselves in abusive ways, being our own worst critics. Would you be willing now to free yourself of disturbing echoes from your past and speak to yourself with more loving, kind words?

If you catch yourself thinking, “I messed up a long time ago and now my life can never be right,” stop yourself right there!

Choose a new thought. “I’ve had some hard times and made some big mistakes, but I forgive myself. I now have the growing awareness to make better decisions. I believe am worthy of attracting greater good into my life. All I can do is my best.”

As motivational writer Don Miguel Ruiz says, what is your best is going to change all the time, so you can release the need to be perfect.

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment,” according to Ruiz. “It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

Take a Single Step Today

As you read this blog entry, you may be reminded of some goals you’ve had for quite some time, whether they relate to your health, career or creativity. You may find that you’re reading this at exactly the right time, as the message serves as a reminder to do at least one thing today that brings you closer to your goals.

You’ll likely find that taking one just step (even something as seemingly simple as updating your resume, 20 minutes of exercise, trying a healthy new recipe, meditating for 15 minutes, or signing up for a self-improvement class) has an immediate effect on your esteem, raising it higher.

Habit Formation

Perhaps there’s a healthy new habit you want to create in your life (whether it’s juicing or jogging or journaling). You can pick one thing and do it every day for 21 days (a recommended time frame for turning productive behaviors into habitual ones). As you continually engage in that activity and it becomes an important part of your life, your self-esteem will grow as a result of your personal achievement.

But don’t try to take on too much at once. You could grow frustrated or overwhelmed. If you’re interested in habit formation, you can simply start with one thing on your path to personal empowerment. Then 21 days later, you can introduce another beneficial habit.

Releasing Procrastination

You may already have a high sense of self esteem, but you can begin to experience even more as you release procrastination from your life.

Procrastination is often the curse of the perfectionist, who might want to wait until conditions seem ideal before beginning an undertaking. Perfectionists also often want to have a high certainty that they’ll excel at a particular activity before getting started.

There is likely a little perfectionist in all of us, but we can always remind that part of our being that it’s okay to experiment and make mistakes while trying new things. That’s just part of the learning process. You can begin calming down that perfectionist part of your personality by simply saying, “I give myself permission to learn as I go. I can always shift my strategy as needed.”

As you consider what action step you can take today to bring you closer to your goals, you can understand how it can be helpful to outline an action plan of further steps (whether it relates to a personal development goal, a creative undertaking, or a business or home-improvement project). You don’t have to accomplish them all today. You just need to begin creating a sense of what they are, setting both priorities and realistic expectations for yourself.

Action Plans

Too often we procrastinate because we don’t have an action plan in place. A motivational affirmation to get going can be as simple as, “I make my plan, and I work my plan.”

As we get in the process of working our plans, we can rejoice in the small steps – and forgive ourselves for any missteps – along the way to making great progress.

You may be someone who dreams so big that a major goal can seem overwhelming. But perhaps these words from motivational speaker Earl Nightingale, known as the “dean of personal development,” may calm you now:

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”